Me too!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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