I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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