Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
