I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
