I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
worst night to have a conscience
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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