Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
