i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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