it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
