last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize