You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
