I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
