Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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