I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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