that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
