I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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