Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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