So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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