just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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