I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize