Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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