so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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