i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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