I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize