Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
