I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
