I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize