hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
