On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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