whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
