You work out of a Hotel?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
