woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
