I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
