I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
