It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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