oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
