Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
