Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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