i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize