Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
