Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
