the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
