omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
