Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize