ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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