I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
