y did u give ur computer a hand job?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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