How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
