I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
