Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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