summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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