Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
