the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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