if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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