just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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