the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize