Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
