well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
