This is not my ceiling
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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