i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
