he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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