its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
